today i started watching “girl boss” on netflix and something came over me. first off, i read the book about a year ago and absolutely fell in love with sofia amoruso! her story, her life, her ambition, everything drew me towards her.
i’ve always had the entrepreneur spirit in me. i remember being a kid and coming up with an idea to start a cafe in my neighbors backyard. i figured we could invite all the neighborhood kids. we even made a sign and our business was called m&m cafe, for mariann and melissa. this lasted a day and i don’t even think anyone came. i also thought it would be great to have some sort of carnival at my house where neighbors would buy tickets and ride a wagon or something silly like that. i obviously wasn’t taking real money, but i think i just liked the idea of thinking something up, planning, setting up, and starting it.
fast forward to early college and my first laptop that my dad bought me. on my desktop i had a folder of “business ideas.” these were ideas that i had for the future. business’ i wanted to start. although they were more about the design esthetics and they way i wanted my business to make people feel rather than an actual set of business plans. i truly thought that one day i would actually put these notes to use.
funny thing is, meeting john i realized that he was the exact same way. so over the years we have discussed different business plans or ideas that one day we would want to put into place. Cafes, bars, yoga studios, buying and flipping homes, etc. who know if we will ever really step into this world. we both already own our own companies, so life is busy. plus, throwing two babies into it this year makes life even busier.
watching this show (i’m only on episode two) has really got me thinking about things and really making me feel like maybe i just might be getting my mojo back.
i used to see inspiration everywhere! people, music, books, book stores (i used to just go to book stores and sit on my computer for hours. there is something so magical to me about a book store) blogs, photos… so many things. but lately, i haven’t been feeling this way. i think with our infertility struggle, the only thing on my mind the last few years was to get pregnant. now that we have gone through ivf and are pregnant, i am now searching for inspiration again.
it could also be because i am starting to feel a little better and gaining some energy back. thank you second trimester!!
when i first got pregnant i went through a little something like, “okay, the last few years of my life was all about getting pregnant and now my life is just going to be all about having kids.” i know this sounds super selfish, but because i’ve always been the way i mentioned above, this kind of scared me. however, now i am looking forward to being a mom and also juggling a crap ton of other stuff too! because lets be honest, i know it’s going to be hard (especially with twins), but life is hard and us women can do anything!
back to the show. this isn’t a documentary, which i was kind of hoping it was. but so far the show is good. its not really the show that had brought these feelings back to me, but really just thinking back to the book. plus, it’s always great to being some visuals to words.
i’m really babbling on here and i actually don’t even know where i am going with this, but something has sparked in me. i have this business that i have started and i’ve learned a lot over the years, but i’m definitely not where i should be with it. i’ve split my time with so many other thoughts, ideas, goals, being a new wife, trying to get pregnant, being scared to expand, and not pushing myself, so basically i am just here. right here at mediocre. but that is going to change. there are so many things about my job that i don’t know. techniques that are used and different lighting applications that scare the crap out of me and i am about to jump in head first. the goal here is quality. i want to give my clients quality all the time. sometimes i cringe and cross my fingers that people like what i give them. sometimes i even cry and tell john that know for sure they will be upset and possibly want their money back. so far this hasn’t happened and i think i am a lot harder on myself than i should be, but it is ridiculous that i even worry about this and it’s only because i am not giving it all i have. i have not put my 100% into learning and growing.
so goals, right?
also, this platform is amazing and i am often so inspired by bloggers! i am also blown away that people actually read my blog and write to me the nicest things ever! ya’ll know how to make a girl feel real good!
i plan to keep this up. i plan to document my life, my thoughts, my business, our travels, my pregnancy, my pretend style 😉 , and soon… my little family.
john has big plans to retire early in life so i am going to push my little butt as hard as possible and be the best mom i can be, the best wife, the best photographer, and the best blogger and hopefully start making a business out of blogging as well. we hope to travel a lot so i want this and photography to be our main source of income in the next five years.
this may sound really strange, it does to me too. but i see these huge bloggers out there and i think that someday i can get to that point.
so, more goals!
here is a list of some inspiring people that i follow on a regular basis.
where do you get your inspiration? what keeps you moving along in life and not just letting the days pass?
i’d really love to know!
also, here is my 14 + 4 day belly. i’m so thankful that i am feeling more like myself these days. looking forward to seeing my little ladies at the end of the week.